Since the time the twinadoes have been exposed to other kids there have been squabbles, hurt feelings and pretty much everything else that goes along with navigating little ones exposure to other kids. As much as I wanted to immediately jump in, for the most part I would see what happened first and then intervene if needed. The majority of the time it wasn't necessary. As they get older the need for me to jump in gets less and less, but my desire to do so does not.
Today when I picked up the twinadoes from preschool I got to hear all about how Thing 1 got pushed by a girl at school and how Thing 2 spit on and scratched another girl. After getting to the bottom of it all, piecing together several different portions I had to realize that my little girl was learning the hard lesson of how quickly kids change their minds on who they want to play with. Hearing her cry about getting so angry then feeling really bad was heartbreaking. Yes, I'm so proud of her for apologizing for scratching, but she did get the "we never lay our hands on another person". She truly felt bad, which is a good thing, I guess.... better than her not feeling anything about hurting another person.
What really got to me was her crying, saying she wanted to apologize more to the little girl so she would like her again. Oh my poor Thing 2, I wish I could fix it all for you, but some lessons you do have to learn and there's not a thing I can do about it. Some might think I'm a little too honest with my kids, I tell them that being mean to others, that doing things like spitting on or scratching others is going to be a guaranteed way to not have others want to be around you. But I also explain that I do understand getting so angry and frustrated that you just want to do mean things. They are five, and not to excuse any kind of physical reaction, they just don't have the same skills that someone even a few years older would have. They have impulse reactions that they later feel bad about.
Nobody wants for their children to be the ones that are the loners with no friends, so when I hear her say she had to play alone it just makes me want to run in and do something. Tomorrow, hopefully, everything will be better and friendships will resume and today will be forgotten. I will send her off with a positive "have fun" and hope that she truly does have fun. The best part about this age, they get over stuff quite quick. In fact, after the crying and sobbing of the car ride home she is happily playing with her brother.
My mom heart still hurts for her, she's my sensitive one. She seems like she's the tough one that can stand up to anything, but in reality, she's so delicate inside. I want to protect that. I want to go marching in to school with her tomorrow and tell those little girls to be nice and to stop with the mean girl shit!!!! But I won't, only in my head.... Tomorrow I will be positive and send her off with the hopes that it will be ok and that when I pick her up she will have a different story to tell me. One of how much fun she had playing with those same girls that made her cry today.
And as for that little girl that pushed Thing 1, well I have yet another scenario in my head for you.....(settle down, I'm not going to terrorize some 5 year old other than in my head).
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